


The Nightmare Before You

by buttercream



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Office AU, angsty, but not too angsty, it's more fluffy than angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 16:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9910493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttercream/pseuds/buttercream
Summary: As he watches Zhang Yixing -- beautiful, nice, great Zhang Yixing -- Yifan wonders if the answers he’s looking for are ready for him, just waiting to be found.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cagedchaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cagedchaos/gifts).



> For Jayci.
> 
> I'm sorry Jayci, I took a super angsty prompt you had and turned it into this... Mushy... Bundle of... Feelings, I think LOL. It's not all fluff, you have some sad moments (a few tears were dropped), but idk if this is what you were looking for. I'm also sorry it reads so rushed, I tried my best. I still hope you like it. Happy belated Christmas! (and also halloween hehe)  
> DAS IT BAI

Yifan knows Zhang Yixing. He works in the marketing department, always wears purple ties. Yixing is a smiley guy. Whenever Yifan catches sight of him, he’s got that big smile on his face that's so bright it _spreads_ around. Yifan is pretty sure people feed off Yixing's happiness. There's so much, why not borrow a bit? Perhaps Yifan can do the same this next week, considering he’ll need to work closely with Yixing. He’ll need an extra bit of happiness. It's that period of the year.

\--

“You're Wu Yifan, aren't you?” asks Zhang Yixing. He's leaning back against Yifan's desk, eyebrows a bit furrowed but eyes attentive. 

They've worked at the same company for 8 months, Yixing's requested Yifan's help once when his computer broke. Is he serious with that question? He really doesn't remember Yifan’s name?

“Yeah,” Yifan deadpans.

Yixing smiles beautifully, “Great! I hear we’re supposed to organize the Christmas party together this year!”

He sounds genuinely excited. 

“Yeah,” Yifan repeats.

“We should get together after hours so we can discuss what type of party we want.” Yixing practically bounces as he says. The way he talks about it makes it sound like they’re saving baby pandas or something. Yifan can’t see what’s so great about a stupid Christmas party.

“No can’t do,” he turns back to his computer, clicking around so it would seem like he’s actually working (He’s not. It’s been a great day for technology, no computers broke, no systems failed. Yifan’s been completely useless since 9 AM).

He can hear disappointment so clear in Yixing’s voice when he speaks, “Do you have plans for tonight?”

“Yes.” Actually, Yifan’s going to order in and watch Gilmore Girls.

“Oh,” Yixing says. “Well… Then tomorrow? Before work? I just think the sooner we decide what kind of party we’re throwing, the sooner we can start to actually organize the thing.”

Yifan scratches at his neck impatiently, swirling in his chair to face Yixing. “What is there to talk about? It’s just a freaking Christmas party. All you need is a turkey, a tree, and some fairy lights.”

The moment Yifan stops talking, Yixing’s face starts coloring. He gets bright pink in a heartbeat, and for a second, Yifan wonders if he’s just been a giant jerk.

“Is this a bad time?” Yixing quietly asks. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, maybe we can talk later. Or… I’ll e-mail you.”

With that, Yixing hurries away, his short and thick black hair even moving a bit with the haste he takes off. Damn, Yifan was a jerk. He didn’t mean to, it’s just… Christmas is a delicate subject for him. He doesn’t have a good reason to celebrate Christmas, and he still thinks it was a tad inconsiderate of his boss to nominate him for the party committee. He _knows_. Everyone knows. Everyone but Zhang Yixing, apparently, who didn’t even remember Yifan’s name.

\--

By the end of the day, Yifan’s conscience has eaten him whole, and he decides to apologize to Zhang Yixing. After all, he’s not at fault for _Christmas_.

Yixing is shutting his computer off when Yifan gets there, meaning he’s getting ready to leave. Cleaning his throat, Yifan calls his attention. When Yixing turns around, his eyes widen in surprise. He even looks a bit scared. Damn.

“Hey,” Yifan says. “I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier. You were nice and I was a total jerk.”

Yixing’s shoulders relax, and he smiles a little. “No, it’s fine. I should have sent you an e-mail.”

Yifan knows half the people in the office don’t like to deal with him personally, and that’s totally fine by him. He’d also rather deal with computers than people. But the thought of bright and harmless Zhang Yixing sending e-mails to avoid facing Yifan makes his stomach churn in discomfort.

“Hey, I’m serious,” he insists. “I didn’t want to scare you or anything, I just…” Sighing, Yifan lowers his eyes. “Christmas freaks me out.”

It’s something about himself he’d rather not disclose -- people tend to stare and frown when he mentions hating Christmas --, but something about the way Zhang Yixing looks indicates he’s not the judgemental kind. 

Yifan lifts his eyes and finds an even bigger smile on Yixing’s face. There’s a dimple on his cheek. “Are you from Halloween Town? Would you kidnap Sandy Claws?” He giggles. Giggles.

Frowning, Yifan asks, “What?”

“You’ve never watched The Nightmare Before Christmas?” Yixing asks, and he actually looks worried.

“No.”

Gasping, Yixing grabs Yifan’s forearm. “I know! I know what will be our party’s theme!”

Seems like a knee-jerk reaction, the way he grabbed at Yifan, and even as Yifan stares at the point Yixing’s hand meets his body, the other doesn’t let him go. 

“That’s it!” He exclaims. “The Nightmare Before Christmas will be our theme! It’s perfect! We can decorate the hall like Christmas Town! For that you need to watch the movie, of course, we can’t plan a party if you d-” Then he starts to blabber, and pulls a notebook to furiously scribble on, finally releasing Yifan’s arm. Yixing speaks a thousand words per second when he’s excited, so focused that he doesn’t even notice when Yifan takes two steps back and runs away.

\--

_Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight. Throw away the key and then turn off all the lights._

Squinting at Yixing’s television screen, leaning back against his comfortable suede couch, Yifan feels weird. This whole movie is weird. It’s not only the fact that it’s a movie about, well, Christmas, but also how Jack Skellington expects Christmas to save Halloween Town. It’s all so…

“This is bullshit.” Yifan states. Yixing, who was happily singing along to the song, stills.

“What?” Pausing the movie, Yixing turns to Yifan with concern in his eyes. “You don’t like the movie?”

How can he explain this without being an even bigger asshole than he’s already being? “This makes no sense at all.”

“What makes no sense? The movie?” Yixing’s eyes keep getting bigger, and Yifan should be feeling ashamed of himself.

“The fact that I’m sitting here watching this crappy movie to organize a crappy Christmas party when I don’t care the least about fucking Christmas!”

There’s silence after Yifan bursts anger all over Yixing’s living room. Nice Zhang Yixing, who’s now just staring at him like he’s half afraid, half confused.

“Um. I can. Um… I can organize the party by myself if it bothers you this much.” Yixing offers, and it really seems like he’s being extra careful with his words. As if he fears Yifan might jump him and scream at his face. “It’s no big deal, I… Just thought The Nightmare Before Christmas would be a good theme because no one’s ever done it before. And I wanted this party to be different…”

“It’s not just about the movie, it’s Christmas!” Yifan exclaims. He’s about to blabber about how much he hates Christmas, but Yixing interrupts him with a hand on his shoulder.

“I know. Christmas freaks you out.” Yixing’s eyes radiate comfort, and Yifan feels like watching him for a little longer. “I’m sorry I brought you here to watch this movie, it was inconsiderate of me. I’ll talk to Mr. Feng tomorrow.”

Yixing flashes him a tiny smile and turns towards the TV, shutting it off. Suddenly, Yifan feels like the worst person in the world. Sure, he has major reasons for hating Christmas, but here’s a nice guy who’s done nothing to deserve an outburst, and Yifan yelled at him. Yixing doesn’t even ask him why he hates Christmas, he just… Accepts it. 

“My family died on Christmas.” Yifan blurts and winces. The sentence comes out like it scratched its way out of him, and it hurts.

Yixing turns back to him, a frown on his face. It slowly disappears, probably after he realizes this isn’t some kind of joke.

“I’m sorry, Yifan.” The other says, voice thin. “I had no idea.”

Well, there’s a chance Yixing really didn’t know. He’s only been working at the company for 8 months, and the incident happened some time ago. Most of Yifan’s colleagues have stopped treating him like a charity case already.

“It’s ok.” He says, shaking his head. “It happened two years ago. We loved Christmas and decorating the house for Christmas. We loved going shopping and exchanging presents. It just… Makes no sense celebrating it without them. Besides, the memory of what happened kind of overshadows the holiday thing.”

Yixing nods, as if he’s at loss for words.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Yifan says.

Quickly, Yixing dismisses his apology. “No, it’s no big deal.”

They stay in silence for awhile, the only sounds coming from a nearby cricket. For a few moments, Yifan assesses Zhang Yixing. He’s so nice. So nice. It makes total sense now why everyone at the office likes him so much. There’s this odd sense of comfort emanating from him. Yifan feels like he could tell him anything right now.

“I’ve never had many friends,” Yifan says. “My whole life, my parents and my brother, they were my friends. We’d go everywhere together. It was like… Nothing was fun unless we were together.”

“Yifan, you don’t have to-” He knows what Yixing is going to say, but Yifan wants to talk. Maybe it’s time to talk.

“It was really tough. It still is, because now I live in a small apartment all by myself. And there’s just no reason to make it feel like a home. It will never feel like home.”

His eyes burn, and he knows there are tears threatening to fall, and Yifan blinks trying to urge them back.

“Do you know how many times I wished I was in that car with them? How many times I wished I’d gone with them.” a tear betrays him, and Yifan quickly swipes it away, pretends it never happened.

However, a sniff coming from his side calls his attention. When he turns to face Zhang Yixing, he finds the man hastily rubbing at red eyes. Was he… Crying?

Yifan wipes at his own tears, feeling a bit guilty. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“It just makes me so sad to hear you talk like that,” Yixing says, and his hands fall onto his thighs, Yifan gets a clear view of his face. His tomato red face. “You are _here_. I can’t imagine how much it must have hurt, how horrible… I… Maybe… Maybe they would have wanted you to… Try.”

“I’ve tried. I am trying,” Yifan assures him because that’s what he’s been doing for the past two years. He wakes up in the morning and goes to work every day. He grocery shops, he goes to the doctor, he waters his plants. He tries. Every day. “But I’m not happy anymore. And I have no prospects of happiness in the near future.”

Sniffing, Yixing lets out a quick chuckle. “You’re like Jack.”

Yifan frowns. “What?”

“You’re like Jack, back in Halloween Town. Jack was so lost, and sad. He had lost his inspiration and his will to live in his own world. Then he found Christmas Town, and with it his inspiration. Right now, you’re in Halloween Town. You’re grieving, and you don’t want to be here, celebrating something that makes you so sad.”

“So you’re saying that Christmas will save me?”

“No, I’m saying that maybe you need to go out there and find another reason to be here. In your world. Nothing will replace what you’ve lost, but maybe there’s something great waiting for you to come out of your shell.”

\--

Yifan suspects that Zhang Yixing pities him. After the episode with the movie at his place, Yixing’s been stopping by Yifan’s station every morning. Sometimes he brings updates on the party (“I know you’re not organizing anymore, but I thought maybe you’d like to know that things are going great!”), other times he brings coffee (“Thought you might like some!”). But most times, Zhang Yixing stops by just to say hi. He says hi early in the morning, he says hi before lunch, he says hi after lunch. He says bye when he’s going home.

Since Yixing didn’t even seem to notice Yifan’s existence after the whole incident that got them acquainted, the only explanation for Yixing’s change in behavior is pity. He pities Yifan for not having friends. For all the shit that Yifan made the mistake of sharing with him.

On the fifth day of this madness, Yifan decides to confront him.

Yixing is happily making his way towards the elevator, greeting as many people as he can, smiling as broadly as humanly possible when Yifan touches his shoulder.

He’s greeted with the warmest smile he’s ever seen. 

“Hey there, Yifan! Going out for lunch?” He asks, oblivious to Yifan’s real intentions.

“Yeah. I’m glad I ran into you, there’s something I’d like to discuss.”

The other frowns, the smile loosening a bit. “Oh yeah? Anything serious?”

Yifan’s heart tightens. It didn’t occur to him that bring the subject up might make Yixing sad, and honestly, it feels like a crime to wipe happiness from that man’s face. Coughing, Yifan shakes his head. Perhaps he can approach this smoothly.

“Um. Why don’t I buy you lunch?”

A bit suspicious, Yixing agrees and follows Yifan out to the nearest sandwich shop. They both get chicken parmesan sandwiches and settle on a table by the window. 

Before taking his first bite, Yifan says, “Please don’t take this the wrong way… But… Are you trying to befriend me because you feel sorry for me?”

Yifan’s never seen shock on Zhang Yixing’s face. This is the first time. Carefully, Yixing places the sandwich back on the table and leans forward. “I don’t feel sorry for you. Believe me.”

“Then… Why do you seem so intent on talking to me and…” He shrugs. “I don’t know. Bringing me coffee?”

Yixing watches him for a beat too long, then chuckles. He scratches the back of his neck, cheeks coloring. “It’s embarrassing to admit this, but I’ve always wanted to befriend you.”

What? Nearly choking on his coffee, Yifan voices his thoughts. “What?”

Lowering his hand to the table, Yixing sheepishly says, “It's silly, but I've always wondered about you. I mean… About the kind of person you are.”

Frowning even further, Yifan keeps questioning, because it doesn't... Make sense… “What do you mean?”

Suddenly, Yixing groans, rubbing both palms over his face. “Don't make me say it, Yifan.”

Yifan feels utterly stupid because it feels like something is glaring at him and yet he can't see it. “Say what? You need to be a bit clearer, I don't--”

“I had a crush on you!” Yixing blurts, picking up his sandwich and taking a huge bite.

It's such a rich bite that his cheeks bloat with food, and lettuce falls from the sides of his mouth. 

Crush? Zhang Yixing? Zhang Yixing, the nicest guy on earth, had a crush on Yifan? Yifan? Mr. Lame Pants?

“But… Why…?” It's unreal.

Chewing, Yixing shrugs. His whole face is pink, and it's just a natural instinct to find it adorable. Because everything about Yixing is sort of adorable, and that's why it's difficult to understand why such a cute person would have a crush on Yifan. Of all people.

Half a minute later Yixing finished chewing and swallows, drinking from his soda to wash it down. It was a good chunk of sandwich.

“It's not that I had a crush on you. I mean. It's not over. The crush. I still have it.” His eyes are on the table as he speaks, face flaming with embarrassment.

“You still have it?”

“Let's not make this a big deal, ok?” Yixing says, looking at Yifan from behind his lashes. “I was happy about working with you for the Christmas party, I finally had an excuse to talk to you.”

“You needed an excuse to talk to me? You talk to everyone in the office!”

“It's different when it's your crush, Yifan! Geez, I can't believe I'm telling you this.”

So Zhang Yixing has a crush on him. “You're like… This colorful bubble of happiness and I'm… Weird.” Yifan states.

“No, you're not,” Yixing says seriously. “You're competent, and you're smart. And you so focused. Your eyebrows do that knitting thing whenever you're fighting against a computer and it's… Endearing.”

Yixing thinks he's endearing. Yixing thinks Yifan's scowl is endearing. It makes him chuckle.

Yixing smiles back. “I don't know why, I just… like you.”

Well, that's an unexpected development. Yifan came out here to call Yixing out on his bullshit, to ask him to stop feeling sorry for Yifan and trying to befriend him out of pity. He didn't expect _this_. 

It's not like Yifan’s never acknowledged Yixing. He's wondered about him from afar, but not enough to approach him and try a friendship. Although he's considered the fact that if he’d ever get an office friend, the best person for the position would have been Zhang Yixing. Because Yixing just… He's a good person.

And cute. Yixing is super cute.

“You're impossible to understand,” Yifan says, a little bit charmed.

Yixing’s smile widens. “Not impossible, you just have to try harder.”

There’s something glinting in his eyes as he locks eyes with Yifan, something Yifan should guess but can’t quite pinpoint. A mischievous smile dances on Yixing’s features and he nips on his lower lip. Yifan smiles back, thinking he’s interesting. A cute kind of interesting.

“So,” Yixing says. “Do you think you can give The Nightmare Before Christmas a second chance?”

Seems like a pointed question. Yifan knows what he's asking for. It’s not really about the movie, it’s about that conversation they had back at Yixing’s place. About opening up. Going out there and finding something else that makes sense to him. Finding a new reason to live in this world. 

So many times Yifan wondered what he was still doing here, what was his goal, his purpose, and to this day his questioning remained unanswered. However, as he watches Zhang Yixing -- beautiful, nice, great Zhang Yixing -- he wonders if the answers he’s looking for are ready for him, just waiting to be found.

 _Just do it_ , he tells himself, and with a firm nod, he grins at Yixing. “Yes. Let's give it a shot.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry lol


End file.
